On our journey through this world, we all must face moments of losing and letting go. In this article, we’ll explore how to manage loss and learn to let go of things and people we cling to.

My first lesson in loss was when I brought home a bunch of poppies as a young child.

Poppies fascinated me, and still do, and in that time of pure innocence, when I was finally allowed to pick them and take them home, I believed I could keep them… forever.

You can guess what happened next. 😔

Finding me in tears, my father explained to me that flowers wilt, all plants wilt and, in fact, all living things “wilt” at some point. 🥀

I picked poppies and various other wildflowers many times from that point forward, believing that if I took good care of them—or magically willed them to live forever—I would be able to keep one.

One day, realizing how stubborn I was and that I always ended up in tears, my mother taught me how to dry flowers and keep them inside of books…

Adult life teaches us that loss is part of the process. Since childhood, we’ve been faced with small defeats: the tantrum that didn’t work, the toy we couldn’t get. These experiences, and certainly the way grown-ups teach us to navigate them, prepare us for the greater challenges we face throughout our lives.

Still, no matter how well-prepared we are, some of these experiences can still be painful, but they are also opportunities for growth and transformation.

1. The Need to Learn to Lose

Learning to lose and let go is an essential skill for our mental and emotional health. In life, we won’t always get what we want and we won’t always keep what we have.

Not to mention that we sometimes have to give up our desires for our own good.

And this can be very painful and disruptive. But by letting go of what no longer serves us, we make room for the new and for inner growth.

2. The Ego and Resistance to Loss

Our ego often prevents us from accepting defeat. It makes us insist, fight and resist when we realize that we are losing something or someone. The relationship that didn’t work out, the promotion we didn’t get, the friend who turned their back on us—all of these experiences challenge us to let go.

3. The Art of Letting Go

But letting go is not a sign of weakness; it’s both an act of courage and a basic skill. Here are some strategies for learning to let go:

• Accept Reality

Acknowledge that loss is part of life. We can’t control what life throws our way, but we can choose how to react to adversity. Accepting reality is the first step towards detachment.

• Allow yourself to feel

It’s normal to feel sad, angry or frustrated when we lose something or someone. Allow yourself to experience these emotions, don’t pretend or force yourself to ignore them, just don’t hold on to them indefinitely!

Mourning is necessary, but so is moving on.

• Cultivate Gratitude

Instead of focusing on what you’ve lost, focus on what you’ve gained. Gratitude helps us appreciate the present and recognize the blessings that remain.

• Practice detachment

Letting go doesn’t mean devaluing what we have, and it certainly doesn’t mean discarding all our possessions.

It means letting go of excessive attachment and allowing life to flow. But be gentle with yourself in the process.

• Learn from loss

Every defeat brings with it a lesson. Reflect on what you’ve learned and how you can grow from this experience.

4. Losing a dear friend

Sometimes we need to let go of good friends as well.

Either because life happens and we must go our separate ways, or because they are no longer among the living.

Instead of clinging to nostalgia, choose to cherish the memories and move on. You’ll make new friends and have new experiences that will enrich your life in different ways.

Find out more about the stages of mourning…

🚀 https://www.psycom.net/stages-of-grief

 5. Detachment from a Relationship

Detachment doesn’t mean forgetting someone, but rather freeing yourself from emotional attachment. A break-up is also an opportunity to get to know yourself better, to grow and invest in yourself. You’ll become more resilient and better prepared for a new relationship. Or you may even learn to be completely satisfied in your own company—to be alone, but not lonely.

Find out more about coping with separation and divorce…

🚀 https://mhanational.org/separation-and-divorce

 

“All conditioned things are impermanent – when one sees this wisdom, one turns away from suffering.”

Buddha

 

In short…

Life is a series of gains and losses.

Learning to lose and let go is a skill that makes us more resilient and compassionate. Accepting that a poppy is just transient, and taking the time to admire it while it’s there—that’s a part of growing up.

Just as the seasons change, we must similarly allow the phases of life to flow. We all are shooting stars. 🌠

May we embrace the lessons of loss and find relief in letting go, and may we learn to lose with gratitude and let go with courage. After all, it is in this process that we find true freedom. 🕊️

 

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